Want to learn more about setting appropriate limits and how to responde when those limits are broken? Come to the next Incredible Years.
If it were not for the street in front of their houses, Erin and her best
friend Katie would be inseparable. On summer days, the girls can be seen
standing on their respective curbs talking across the great asphalt divide
about whatever it is four-year-olds talk about.
This used to be a matter of great concern for the girls’ mothers. The
street, although residential, at times resembles the Daytona Speedway.
Then, the mothers got together and gave their daughters a crash course in
street safety.
For young children, this is risky. A few lessons in crossing the street
safely may not be enough to prevent a young child from stepping in front
of a car.
Learning to cross the street safely under every circumstance may take years
for a child to accomplish. Parents should take a step-by-step approach and
not expect too much too soon.
Initially, be restrictive. Children under four years old should never go
into the street unless you are carrying them or holding their hand tightly.
If you carry them, emphasize that they are never to go into the street on
their own.
Children can begin to learn how to cross when they are between the ages of
four and six years. It’s okay, maybe even wise, to teach them in an
exaggerated way.
Stand on the curb, holding your child’s hand. Announce you’re looking and
listening for cars coming from one direction, then repeat the routine for
the other direction. Ask your child, "Is a car coming? Is it safe
to cross? We only cross together – never by yourself."
Hold your child’s hand when crossing together. Practice it many times.
Children should be told to never go after anything in the street. That
is an adult job. If a ball rolls into the street, use the opportunity to
teach. Look and listen, turning your head in both directions, and say,
"No cars coming," before you fetch the ball. And walk, don’t
run.
And always follow the rules yourself when your child is watching.
Most children between the ages of six and eight years should be ready to
cross responsibly, if they’ve been properly taught. You’ll need to
decide for your child and your streets. Grant crossing privileges
only if your child is ready, and withdraw them if your child forgets
the rules. Some mistakes are too costly to leave to chance or children.
This column is written by Robert B. McCall, Co-Director of the
Office of Child Development and Professor of Psychology, and is provided as a
public service by the Frank and Theresa Caplan Fund for Early Childhood Development
and Parenting Education.