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Giving Elise a pacifier was her father’s idea. He is a stay-at-home
dad who doubles as a marketing consultant. A pacifier, he reasoned,
might soothe four-month-old Elise when she is irritable and buy him
a few more hours to focus on his home-based business.
The pacifier is doing the trick. But he is catching flak from his
wife and Elise’s grandmothers. The grandmothers detest the pacifier
as an unnecessary, foolish habit that is hard to break. His wife
worries about the alignment of Elise’s teeth.
Adult feelings about children sucking thumbs and pacifiers can be
intense. But neither habit is likely to harm a child.
Although most infants try to suck something besides the breast or
bottle nipple, only one in two will develop a long-term thumb or
pacifier habit.
Sucking on something does indeed calm infants. If you do not favor
thumb or pacifier sucking, try calming your infant by holding, rocking,
talking, or singing. Also, if you do use a pacifier, use it sparingly.
For example, a pacifier used only to soothe tender gums while teething
is less likely to develop into a full-blown habit.
Most children give up the thumb or pacifier before they get their
permanent teeth, so serious dental problems are unlikely.
But know that pacifiers wear out. The nipple can crack and break off,
causing a risk of choking. If your child uses a pacifier, regularly
examine it closely by pulling on the nipple. If it is cracked, throw
the pacifier away.
Most children outgrow a thumb or pacifier habit on their own. Otherwise,
breaking the habit can be difficult. The thumb is always available. You
can try to distract a thumb-sucker with activities that require using
his or her hands, such as playing with blocks or a puzzle.
In the extreme, you might reward your child with a sticker or a snack
for each day he or she goes without sucking. If the child is old
enough, explain why it is important to stop. Say, for example, "You
will look more grown up."
If you try to break your child’s habit, be patient, expect setbacks, and
don’t threaten. You don’t want a power struggle. But you must be
consistent – just stop it.
Pacifier or thumb sucking rarely develops into a serious problem, and
most professionals don’t discourage it. But if you don’t want you child
to do it, don’t start it. Preventing the habit from developing in the
first place may be easier than trying to correct a well-practiced habit
later.
This column is written by Robert B. McCall, Co-Director of the
Office of Child Development and Professor of Psychology, and is provided as a
public service by the Frank and Theresa Caplan Fund for Early Childhood Development
and Parenting Education.